Wednesday, September 21, 2011

round these parts

It's 10:24 round these parts.

I have an assignment I need to do {due this evening} and a chapter to read{hello kids nap time}. I had planned to spend the day catching up on laundry, picking up the house and doing homework.

WELL. The universe said we have different plans for you.

It started with the sound of water. Where is that COMING from?
Oh, hello overflowing disgustingness from toilet and bathtub. Oh hello ANOTHER, way gross mess to pick up. Oh, GOODBYE to my plans! and HELLO to a plumber....

I have also been eaten alive by mosquitoes and am feeling madly itchy at the moment. My kids are wound for sound, Matt has the car today and there have already been 4 timeouts. I am trying to stay positive but it's not looking good, folks.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

on anxiety and Target

I met a friend for coffee this morning and ate up all my productive time.
I forgot that I took the last pill in the bottle before bed, yesterday.
We don't usually go to Target at nap time. Today, it was necessary.

I pull into the parking lot and glance back at their seats.
I knew it!
It was far too quiet. They are both out cold.

I sit and think for 5 straight minutes.
Is this worth it? Worth all the screaming that could occur for interrupting nap time?
I decide it is.

I grab a cart and load everything in I will need
BEFORE waking them. Purse, wallet, keys, phone.
I open the door and take a deep breath.

I put one baby into the cart and buckle him.
I promise him juice to keep him happy.
My 3 year old clings to me.

I undo his grip to put him into the cart with his brother.
He starts to fuss. I start to fuss inside my head.
See? What were you thinking?

I promise my two babes juice. And popcorn.
Lots of popcorn. It's ok guys. Oh yes, let's have a hug.
Ok, let's hurry!

In we go. First juice, of course the juice!
A big bag of popcorn, they are munching away
I hit the pharmacy, grab mouse traps, folders and notecards.

I giggle with my boys.
They still munch.
We walk to checkout.

They throw popcorn on the checkout belt.
I pick it up, grab a wipe, it's my second nature now to clean after these boys.
I pay, we exit.

Back into the car we go, big handfuls of popcorn.
It all worked out. It was actually fun.
Isn't that how it always goes?

I need to remember that the next time.

This post was inspired by Heather of the Extraordinary Ordinary who has inspired many bloggers to get back to writing simply.

Just Write

Saturday, September 17, 2011

it is what it is.

Its early Saturday afternoon in these parts and I am needing to accomplish a plethora of math homework and Human A&P studying. 

I really feel like the 3 1/2 months school is in session {just the fall} and the 4 months in the spring semester  are madness. 

My house is a disaster. My kids live on Disney movies. And it just is what it is. I cannot make more time magically appear. Papers and studying take priority. Also? My anxiety medicine disappears down my throat much more rapidly. Don't worry, I am not overdosing it or anything. I take it on an as needed basis and during the school year it is much more needed. 

So that's what it is here. I am in survival mode. I am already itching for it to be December, because that means I get a month long break and the constant stress, worry and crazy time balancing game calms for a month. 

How is your Saturday going???

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

They say it's your birthday...

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful man:

My Matty!!! 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


We park in our usual spot- right by the flowers. I unbuckle Theo's seat and scoop him out. He was just sleeping, and has that freshly woken dazed look.

I carry him. He nuzzles his spot in my neck. "Doowwnnnn", he says.

He waddles along. I hear him breathe in deeply and think, He is going to sneeze.

Then CHOO! He shakes it off and stares up at me. Smiles.

"Do you want my hand, buddy?" "Yaahhhhhhh...."

I walk, he waddles, hand in hand into the preschool building to pick up his big brother.


This post is inspired by:

Just Write

Monday, September 12, 2011

how many people can you fit in YOUR bathroom?

 You know that moment in time where everything in your life {kids, husband, life in general}is creeping up under your skin? Please tell me you know.

Anyway, I reached that place this weekend and knew I needed some time away to just be Nicole.
So I escaped.

Where do I go when I need to escape? To my girlfriends, of course!!

see this tiny bathroom? apparently it fits 5 people!
it was hilarious at the time.

ok, 6! 
here's to stupid jokes that make you laugh until you almost pee! 
but hey, I guess we would have been in the right room if that happened! {ba dum ch}

my girlfriends fill my cup to overflowing...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

for the love of mommy's sanity, NAP!!!

Please, PLEASE tell me I am not the only one whose kids are trying to kill me with nap battles.

#1. My 2 and 3 year olds DO still need a nap. Without one, they start disintegrating into screaming zombies around 5pm, and bedtime is not until 730pm.
#2. Mommy needs them to have a nap. My little monkeys get up right about 6, if not sooner. Have you ever spent six straight hours with a toddler and preschooler? In addition to all the other tasks going on around here? It's exhausting. So yes, I absolutely admit that I need that time too- to clean, do schoolwork or just BE for a few.
#3. They have a set nap time. It is the same every!day! When the time changes, we change the nap one hour in whichever direction it needs to go. We have a routine as well. They are allowed one small toy {a car, a doll, etc} to take with them, they have calming music, we turn their fan on, we do kisses and hugs and then it's time.

Yet still, it is SUCH a battle about 4/7 days of the week. The other day, I sat up by their bedroom for two hours and kept going in, laying them back down, going in, over and over and over until I wanted to pull my hair out. I can't do that everyday or even 4 days. I can't.

 We have tried splitting them up to nap, it's that much harder. I have tried staggering their nap times separately however then I end up with one falling asleep just as the other wakes, and that just plain 'ol stinks. 


Thank you immensely, 
The lady who is losing her mind

Friday, September 9, 2011

the end of an era.

five and counting.

this is my friday...

Yesterday it took my boys two HOURS to nap! TWO! 
Today, it took 10 minutes.  Motherhood is so unpredictable.

I am having oatmeal and hot peach tea for lunch. It's amazing.

My living room floor is covered in tracks and trains. I could have asked the 3 year old to pick them up but we were having far too much fun before nap time and I just did not want to. It's sooo worth it to pick them up myself today.

In just about two hours, Matt will come pick me up and I will drive him to the appointment that means no more babies for us. It is needed, but so sad.

How is your Friday shaping up?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

round and round and it's wonderful.

This morning I dropped my 3 year old dude off at preschool.
Then I took my 2 year old dude to story time.

Our story time rocks! There is not constant shhh-ing and asking toddlers to sit. Instead, kids are encouraged to move, jump, sing, laugh and The leader of this story time loves children with all her heart and it shows. Her patience is endless. Her joy is genuine. It's a good time. Because of this, it's a BIG group. I am talking at least 20 parents with 1-2 kiddos a pop. Big!

Mr. Theo prefers to sit in my lap, rather than dance around. {Go figure. The kid won't stop moving at home, I take him out in public and Wham! I have a lap buddy!}

Today, as I was singing 'The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round, round and round, round and round' I looked around at 20 other parents singing it with me. 20 other parents spending time with their kids being silly. 20 other parents who get it.

And I realized I am right where I am supposed to be. 

I am a stay at home mama and I am so blessed. So, very, very blessed.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's Wednesday, I haven't had my coffee yet and I only know four things.

1. I just had leftover chili for breakfast. Best!Breakfast!Ever!

2. I have an extraordinary amount of laundry/dishes/dusting/homework to do today and not one ounce of energy to begin.

3. All of my boys have colds. Even the adult boy.

4. There will be an obscene amount of children's movies played in my living room today. See #2.

Happy Wednesday!! What do you know today?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

how i get by.

I felt it today. Hard. That familiar pull that tells me, "Just go climb in bed and sleep all day-it's a waste of time to be up, to be alive." My depression sneaks in so suddenly, and then WHAM!  I HAVE been taking my medication for just about 2 months now, but it does not completely eradicate these feelings.

I am so thankful for a partner who is compassionate to this yuck. I shared my feelings and he wisely told me to get up and move around. The thought sounds lovely, but the effort- not so much.  So then he said, "Just stand up."

I stood. He put on music, took my hand and danced with me.

Then I decided all of us needed to escape the house for a bit! So I made sandwiches for supper, rinsed a huge container of grapes and we walked to the park near our house. We ate our pb&J's and watched the sunset. The boys played and played while I took on a swinging competition with Miss Daphne.

Then we walked home where a Jason Mraz concert was still playing on the tv. So we danced. How can one be depressed while watching a 3 year old shake his booty? You just cannot.

These are the moments that get me through. Thank goodness for these beautiful lives that surround me with love when I am down.

Friday, September 2, 2011

clickety click

Kelly's Korner is hosting a favorite bloggers link up and I am participating!

Without further ado, here are five bloggers that I cannot get enough of!

1. Kalli at My life as a Kalli is a Mormon stay at home mom of two adorable boys and I love her take on the world!

2. Stacia at Five of Spaids is a stay at home mama of three awesome kids. She is a friend of a friend and we met through our blogs! I love her superpower of jumping right into my brain, picking the words out I was thinking and putting them in her post. I really relate to her.

3. Natalie blogs at Nat the Fat Rat, lives in New York and has the squishiest baby boy ever. AND his name is Huck- it doesn't get cuter than that. I appreciate the rambliness of her posts and her humor!

4. Chrissa at A Snapshot of Us is actually my cousin through marriage! Even though we have never met in person, I think she is one amazing mother and person, and her writings often touch my heart.

5. Jess at The Macs blogs about the loss of her baby girl, Cora, her handsome son Levi, her impending baby boy arrival, and her walk with God. Her decorating skills are amazing, and I wish I knew this woman in real life.

These are some of my favorite blogs, what's one of yours?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

touched out is an understatement tonight.

you know that day where the two year old wakes up saying no from the second you pull him out of bed? and then continues to repeat the word all day, sometimes screaming it, while you try to get two children fed, bathed, dressed and out the door? and then he continues to scream it during preschool drop off?

and then i decided to be the fun mom who takes her kid to story time and that kid does not even participate but either a) sits in my lap or b) lays on the floor, wailing. kid! this is fun! it's ok to laugh!

and then you are invited to meet friends for coffee and you have an hour to kill before preschool pickup so you go and the two year old refuses to play at the really cool coffee shop play area for kids, but instead would prefer to climb up you, climb on top of a table, dump an entire baggie full of pretzels on the floor, and whine.

and then 5 minutes before you have to leave, the 2 year old becomes quite engrossed {suddenly!} in playing and now does not want to leave. and is telling you so with his screams. and by taking his shoes off for the upteenth time in the car.

so you get to preschool pickup and say, forget it, I am NOT putting that kids shoes on AGAIN. so you rush inside with a barefoot toddler because you are running late due to toddler antics, where your anxious 3 year old thinks you forgot him.

then you should also add in to this mix: not one, not two, but THREE little boys getting colds, one little boy coming home from his dads with his well-timed attitude and dealing with a moronic ex. Oh, please do not leave out that the husband is out of town and your kids have chosen that precise time to awake an hour earlier than normal each day AND not fall asleep until past 10pm.

so you put all your kids to bed early, wish you were into wine because you would totally have a bottle glass if you were and retire to bed early. with a bowl of honey greek yogurt.

and by you, of course I most definitely mean me. 

I would ask for a hug but if one more person touches me today, I might scream.