Sunday, June 28, 2009


Life is busy. Busy however fairly uneventful so not much blogging is going on, on my blog.

Mason started swim lessons! He started with Preschool 1 and has now passed on to Preschool 2, which starts on Monday! He is really impressing me with how much he loves being underwater. He was totally my kid who freaked when water barely sprayed in his eyes during a shower. Suddenly, he has flipped and adores jumping not only in, but under the water!

I am staying busy growing one baby boy and chasing another around! Will is BUSY- he is into everything and cracks me up daily at how curious he is about the world around him. I will be 35 weeks on Monday- it sure has flown. And.....NO PREECLAMPSIA! I have an appt. on Tuesday and then I start going every week. I delivered Mason at 36w5d and Will at 37w2d so it's starting to feel very real!

We are loving summer! I get depressed if I am in the house too much so summer is the perfect excuse to be out in the great weather, enjoying water parks, free movie nights, family time and walks. It will be fun to have a baby in the summer...never done that before.

That's about it for now. Post coming soon with pictures of our water fun, Mason at swim lessons, and my 35 week belly shot!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Pregnancy Tidbits:

-After having an innie all the way through for my first two pregnancies, my belly button has suddenly decided to start popping out. I love it!!

-I am alternating between nesting like mad and being so exhausted I could take two or more naps and still go to bed early.

-My doctor ok'd me trying for a VBA2C! He did keep repeating that my success rate is 50%, to which I wanted to reply, "Do you know how stubborn I am?" I am hoping-hoping-hoping preeclampsia does not make an appearance this pregnancy and ruin my VBA2C plans.

-It's starting to really sink in that there is going to be a NEWBORN BABY BOY here in a few short weeks!!! I am aching to see his face, hear his cry, and just know my precious 3rd son.

-I am reminded every day of how incredibly blessed I am. It makes me cry just thinking of it(that and the hormones). I read all these blogs of these women who struggle to get pregnant, struggle to stay pregnant, and struggle to have healthy babies. I have taken these things for granted. I get pregnant very easily, pregnancies go fairly well(minus the preeclampsia issues) and I have beautiful, healthy babies that thrive. I am just amazed at how blessed I am and I do not take it lightly anymore.

- We are SO set up for this baby. I have seriously bought two little jumpers-that's it. I don't need anything else, we just had a baby boy last year and he has lots and lots of clothes. We do still need our infant car seat and shortly after Baby Boy is born, we will be purchasing this:

Other than that, we have EVERYTHING else!

-It's been so nice to have Matt home for a few days after his whirlwind few months planning this HUGE conference!(He took 4 days off to just be home.) It was a success, of course, because he is amazingly talented. However, now life can slow down a bit and I am thankful for a slowed down few weeks before it speeds up again. :)

-Life is good. Seriously. Really, really good!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Where There's A Will, There's A Way.

This little boy:

-started life out with the loudest screams I have ever heard from a baby.

-is a clone of his daddy, down to the mischievous twinkle in his eye- and I love it!

-went hungry for a good portion of his first two months, and I didn't know it. :(

-has surely made up for it over the past year.

-is about to become a big brother at 15 months old.

-loves every, single type of fruit but his FAVORITE is blueberries.

-has shown me that the heart can grow EVEN BIGGER to make room for more baby boy love.

-loves to climb stairs, open and close doors and dance by either
bouncing his body up and down or rocking side to side.

-still sleeps in Mama & Dada's room.

-melts my heart EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Flashback to March 28, 2002

Today, I was rushing to the hotel Matt is staying at, to bring him his suit. His suit had sat in my car for 3 weeks or more, needing to be dropped off, for the purpose of him wearing it tonight.

Of course, as is my way lately, I had forgotten over and over to drop it off. So, yesterday I frantically drove to the cleaners and had them rush clean it. I picked it up after 5 today and drove it to Matt.

So, I was driving, not very focused. :( I was talking to Mason and Will was crying. I stopped at a stoplight and a car pulled up beside me. Just out of habit, I glanced over.

Suddenly, my world slowed down. Time stood still. I literally flashed back. The driver of this car was the same man who took my mother's body from her Hospice room to the funeral home. Right beside me, in his car, with his family.

I will never forget so much about that precious day that my mother left this world for a much better one than I can even fathom. One of my most dear memories was this man.

I was heartbroken to have him taking my mom's body. I knew it wasn't HER in there, but it was like saying good bye all over again.

To the earthly body that made me chicken noodle soup when I was sick, the body that held me close when I was sad, the body that nursed me as a baby, the body that gave me life. I would never hug this body again with all of my mother's wonderful spirit in it. This earthly body of hers would never make me breakfast again or sit and just talk with me, like my momma always did. She just understood me because she made me, raised me, loved me like only a mom can. I wanted her there with me forever.

This man waited there so patiently, for over an hour, while I kept stalling. I wanted to hate him for what his job was, to take my mom officially away from me, but I couldn't. He was so kind.

Right before I finally let him take her body, I looked at him and said, "Take care of my mom." He looked right into my eyes and said, "I will. You have my word." I didn't know him, but I believed him. He covered her with the blue, velvet blanket and wheeled the stretcher out. I remember looking out the window of the hospital and seeing him gently load her body into his van and drive away.

So, when this man pulled up next to me in his car and looked over, I flashed back to that moment in time. I wonder if he remembers. He could never know how his patience and simple kindness affected me.

I am about to be a mother to my third child, a gift I feel undeserving of at times. I can hardly stand that my beautiful mother, who made me who I am and taught me how to be a mother, isn't here to share in it. I know just what kind of grandmother she would be to my babies- Amazing. Exactly like the kind of mother she was.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Alone but not Lonely.

Not sure if it's my pregnancy and the toll this third one has taken on my body and mind.

Not sure if it's the knowledge that very soon, another little life will change my life and world all over again.

Not sure if it's because my husband has been so insanely busy at work due to his National Conference planning(one week and life slows down, yay!) that showers taken together and quick hugs and kisses seem to be all the time together we have lately.

Not sure if it's because every single thing my friends do and say annoys the piss out of me.

However- I am in a place I have never been before. I am truly enjoying alone time- in fact, even desiring it. I have never felt like this before. 

Up until about 2 months ago, I was clingy Nicole, need to have you with me, by me, around me.  It felt odd to be by myself. When my kids took naps, I missed the noise suddenly. I needed the noise just to have noise- so I wasn't by myself. 

I was also Nicole that was bothered by how others perceived me. If they didn't like me, it destroyed me. If I said or did something wrong, I would worry about it for WAY too long. Now I can honestly say I don't care. If you like me- you do. If you don't like me-you don't. It is not my life mission to get you to see me in a positive way. I am who I am. That's not perfect however I also bring a LOT to the table. If you don't see it, I don't care anymore.

I feel confident in myself in a way I have never felt before. Is this part of getting older and growing?

I have started praying more, started writing more, started talking to my momma more, started enjoying the time I have with myself more. 

I feel like I have grown enormously(and I am not just talking about the belly). :)

I am finally starting to understand EXACTLY what my goals are, what I want for my life, for my kids' lives, for mine and Matt's relationship between the two of us, for our family.

I am not shy about demanding what I need. 

I feel like I am in a REALLY good place right now. 

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

because I should be studying!

Things that give me heartburn: 

Orange juice
Cranberry juice
Butter(on toast)
Mexican food(which I LOVE and am craving non-stop right now.)
Too much water(ok, I KNOW but it's true)
Macaroni and cheese

Things that take the heartburn away:

Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream!


Because I promised a belly shot, I have included my 26 week shot of the belly. Please ignore the fact that I am 32 weeks today and this picture is already outdated. Details, details. 

I feel super uncomfortable at this point in my pregnancy and cannot imagine another 8 weeks of growing! I am trying to focus on the fact that I have been  incredibly blessed to have not just one, not just two, but THREE healthy babies! Matt and I talk about that a lot- how some people can't have one yet we have been blessed FIVE times with healthy children. Whew- glad all those babies weren't from MY uterus- my third pregnancy is pushing my limits, don't know how you would pull off 5! :)

I am extremely hungry these days but the only thing I want to eat is Mexican gumbo from Qdoba and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream- not such healthy choices.

At my check-up this week, my blood pressure was good. My urine was free from protein( a sign of developing preeclampsia). Yay for no preeclampsia! I asked my doctor how likely I am to develop this again and he said because I did with both of my previous pregnancies, it's pretty likely. However, he did say stranger things have happened and he has seen women with two or more previous cases not develop it. 

We talked about a C-section date. I feel like my doctor is not fully respecting my decision to try for a VBAC.  He is kind of C-section happy however I am not really wanting to switch doctors at 32 weeks. He would like to schedule a C-section at 39 weeks however after talking with Matt, I have decided that we will schedule a date for my section at 40 weeks and see what happens with my body until then. If I DO develop preeclampsia, the baby will need to be taken out right away. There is no room to play with me and preeclampsia, we know what happens and how it progresses. However, if I DON'T, I am going to let my body go into labor. If I hit 40 weeks and still no signs of labor, I might have to consider doing a Cesarean at this point. For women who have had one or more C-sections, using drugs to induce labor ups the risks BIG TIME. So those are off limits for me. But...if I am 40 weeks and dilating some, I might continue to just let my body do its thing. It's all still very much in the air and makes me feel a bit uneasy. It's so crazy to think that Baby Boy could be here in 4 weeks. I am hoping it's around 37-38 weeks, but the longer he cooks, the better!

I am so excited to meet this active little man! I want to stare at his sweet face, hear his cry, introduce him to his brothers and sister, hold him, breast feed him, just be a mama to a newborn again. It goes so quickly and I can't wait to love on my new babe!


My online classes have started! I am actually enjoying them...I have started managing my time better because of the awareness of NEEDING to get my assignments, discussions and reading done. So I have accomplished more and become more organized than I have been in months. 

NOW....if I could just have some help with this heartburn...