Tuesday, November 29, 2011

glimpses of my life

Matt wraps his arms around me, and sings, "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is heeeeeere in MY arms. Words are very unnecessary."

Theo sees me begin to cook and comes running in the kitchen. He scoots a chair over to me, climbs up next to me, points to the stove and says, "Beary, beary hot."

We drop Matt off at work and start the drive towards Mason's school. He reads 'I'll love you forever' to his brothers and sings the song

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be...   just like I sing it to him. 

Theo is crying for more milk. I ask him to go get his cup, but he is being 2 and refuses. No cup, no milk buddy. Will hops down from his chair and walks over to his baby brother. "It's ok, Feo. What's wrong? You want your miwk?" He walks into the living room and gets the milk cup for his Fe-o.

They teach me so much more than I could ever hope to teach them.

Monday, November 28, 2011

it's a monday.

I have one sick kid on the couch, who started puking in the car. {Yay for empty cups left laying on the floor!}

I have one potty-training kid who stayed dry ALL DAY yesterday! And that includes one episode of I-am-going-to-scream-while-I-poop-because-it-is-surely-the-most-horrible-thing. Will has sat on the potty for a total of 35 minutes today and still no pee. I am thankful we made it to my school and back home with no accidents but now I am pumping fluids into him to get some out! Wish us luck!

My sweet two year old? He is not so sweet these days. He has a new love for biting, and hitting his brothers with lightsabers. We're working on it. Good thing he is chubby-faced and adorable!

School is wrapping up in about a week and a half, and I am in full writing papers/finishing projects mode. I am sooooo ready for the break. Have I said that? Oh, I have? Well, I am.

Matt and I are also fighting colds, so it's been a bit exhausting around here. And Christmas...don't even get me started on Christmas, because well, I haven't started. I KNOW.

How about you, friends? Are you ready for Christmas, or just out of the holiday spirit this year??

Monday, November 21, 2011

yeah, I'm confused too.

I pretty much tried to do NaBloPoMo and failed miserably.

I mean, PEOPLE! I am trying to finish a semester, stay on top of the med situation, try to start to maybe, just maybe, THINK, about packing up an entire house with two toddlers underfoot and I.just.can't.

I run out of time every.single.day.

I am so ready to have a month off from papers, projects and deadlines, oh my!
I am ready to show you all some great things I have up my sleeve for this little 'ol blog during the month long break from school.
I am ready to accomplish more than just dishes, dinner, and assignments.

For heavens sake, I went grocery shopping this morning and they are not even all put away yet! It's 315pm here. 

I would also like to add that, while writing this post, I have been interrupted three times:
1. For snuggles after a head bonk.
2. For fixing of Will's precious train {which always defers to Daddy. "Oh, Daddy will fix that when he gets home!"}
3. For the filling of sippy cups AGAIN.

This sure is a glamourous life!

In summation:
-I failed at NaBloPoMo. -I feel not an ounce bad about it.
-My life is busy. -Blog posting is hit or miss.
-Please continue to come visit. -Love you all.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

thankfulness, part one.

You may have heard about the thankful challenge on Facebook. The challenge is to post something that I am thankful for every day in the month of November. The following is the first part of the month's thankfulness.  

November 1st-Tonight I am thankful for my husband and all that he does and brings to our family. We are so blessed!

November 2nd-Tonight I am thankful for my precious family and the joy they daily bring to my heart. I cannot imagine my life without these 6 wonderful people!

November 3rd-Today I am thankful for modern medicine! I have bipolar disorder and am just so grateful that there is medication that helps me, and I am able to purchase said medication without a second thought.

November 4th-I am thankful for the wonderful, and diverse, friends that I have. Each and every one of them was placed in my life purposefully, and I am so grateful.

November 5th-I am thankful for the two, blissful hours of clothes shopping I was able to do today, thanks to my Matty. Its amazing how efficient one is at shopping WITHOUT a screaming 2 & 3 year old. I scored a pair of $50 jeans for myself for $10! It's the little things!

November 6th-I am thankful for new beginnings! I started Weight Watchers today and am excited to get healthy!

November 7th-I am thankful that God gave me the gift of motherhood. There are so many people who struggle with conceiving and carrying a child, and I was blessed to come by both of these quite easily. I am so thankful for that gift and what it brought me- my gorgeous boys!

November 8th-I am thankful for the precious gift of my Mason God gave to me! I was a baby having a baby, but it was all in Gods plan. Love my oldest boy sooooo much! { And I already said I was thankful for my sons, but I don't care, I am saying it again.}

November 9th-Today I am thankful for my home. It is not perfect and it's nearly always messy but it's warm, cozy and safe. There are many people in this world that cannot say that.

November 10th-I am thankful that both Will & Theo are napping at the SAME TIME! This hasn't happened in months!

November 11th-I am thankful for every man or woman that has fought or served to give me my freedom.

November 12th-I am thankful for this body I have. It's not perfect and has some major fixes (working on it) BUT ( Big but!) it nourished three lives. I grew three humans and my body is miraculous for that!!

November 13th-I am thankful tonight for being lucky enough to have five wonderful senses to experience this beautiful world with. I am blessed to be able to see, hear, smell, taste and touch life!!

November 14th-I am thankful that I am a stay at home mom. I am living the life I used to dream about, and I need to remember that on the hard days.

 November 15th-I am thankful for a messy house...it means my children are making memories. :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

on rodents, old houses and moving!

We live in a super old house- 102 years old, to be exact.

We also live outside of a busy city, in a little city, right by a bunch of fields and farms.

Come wintertime, little rodents like to pay us a visit. Major yuck factor!!

Once again, our traps are out. We have caught 8 mice in 2 days! Grooooossss!

We had decided this past year, that although we rent, we would patch up the holes in the house letting in the disgusting critters. However, since we are now moving, that's not going to happen. So, we live with the ickiness for a few more weeks.

Oh, what's that? You didn't know we were moving? {You do if you are on FB.}

More on why we are moving tomorrow....

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Today I took my youngest boys out to lunch at Subway after picking Will up from preschool.

While noshing on sandwiches, Will looks at me and says, "Mommy, I freeee (three)."
I showed him how to hold up three fingers. (Not easy when you ARE three, oh the irony.)

Will looked over at Theo and said, "Feo- you twwooo."

However, Theo did not want to be two. He wanted to be three.

"No buddy, YOU are TWO!"

"Me freeee, me freee!"

You are right, you are not two (as you writhe and scream in a restaurant about your age).
I think I proved my point. But not to him.

Monday, November 14, 2011

thank you pinterest.

For those of you who knew of Pinterest and did not inform me sooner- you are mean. 
Why oh why did so many hold out on telling me about such amazingness??
I am Nicole Drysdale-Rickman, find me. 
And, if you need an invite, you just let me know.

ps: if YOU want to try this mask, mix:
2 tbsp Honey, 1 tsp Nutmeg, 1 tsp Cinnamon.
Mix and let sit for 30 minutes, rinse well. 

It totally made my skin as soft as a baby's butt. 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

my wonderful firstborn.

I love my freckle-faced, brown-eyed, auburn-haired, smart-as-a-whip, kind-hearted, blessing!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

giving thanks for hope.

It's Saturday night, late, 11:41pm late, and I am waiting, waiting, waiting on my love to finish up his blog post for the evening.

It's been a long day, it always is in this house. The hours are long and bedtime for my babies means I breathe a sigh that we made it through another day. And that this mama can have some me time for a couple hours.

I am so thankful for these beautiful gifts God gave me. God knew before I did not only how much my children would need me, but how much I would need them.

He knew that I would struggle through the deepest darkest depressions I could ever imagine, and that oftentimes the only light would be my sweet boys. There have been days I have wondered if I could take another step, wondered if it would still be worth it to keep fighting, and with them the answer is always  Yes.

They are my breath and my soul and they, along with their sweet daddy, help me keep hope.

And thank God for hope.

Also? Thank God for medication. Wonderful, amazing medication that is helping me slowly regain who I really am.

Friday, November 11, 2011

headless seal

Only one person will get this title. and that's a-ok.  HI KYMIE!!

I have this friend. Who I had many adventures with in my teenage days. But then she moved away-to St. Louis. Sad face.  

Last night she was in town with her husband's band. Check them out, they are very good!

And we had to goof off a little with the camera, of COURSE!

i love her.
we are models, can't you tell?!
it looks like i am sitting on her lap. i wasn't.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend. -John Leonard

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Lucky lucky girl

I sit here in bed, next to my handsome man.

He looks at me and I can see his adoration of me.
What did I ever do to deserve his affection?

I feel so incredibly blessed.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

our most mellow Oct. 31st

Um. It's November 9th and I still have not shown you all my kids' Halloween costumes.

Last year's costumes were awesome and there was no way I was going to top them, and to be honest I just could not find the energy.

So, this year, I let the kids pick their costumes from the bucket o' outfits we have accumulated over the years.

Except Mason. Since he is the oldest boy, there are not any costumes big enough to fit him the next year. He got a new costume!

Our Elmo, Anakin Skywalker and Yoda.

We trick-or-treated for about 20 minutes, passed out candy for an hour after that, and called it a night.
It was super mellow and super fun.
*Daph and Jack were with their mom this year, so that's why no pics of all 5.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

the most fascinating post you will ever read.

My brain hurts.
And I have nothing to say.
But, I committed to blogging daily for a month.
Here I am-exhausted with a mile long to-do list to begin in the morning.
One of which involves completing math homework that's 3 weeks late.
Don't judge me.
It's also 11:45pm.
So, Good night.

Monday, November 7, 2011

it all started with a pair of jeans.

I loved my time alone with my coffee the other day.

I loved finding a new pair of jeans.

What I did not love was the body that faced me in a dressing room mirror.

It is my own doing- my own choices. A choice NOT to exercise. A choice to eat instead of deal with an emotion. A choice to eat more when I am already satisfied. Lots of unhealthy choices.

They are all choices I have made that have led me to this point.

When I stare in the mirror, I don't even recognize myself. I have gained SO much weight and am the heaviest I have ever been.

I finally got sick of the excuses I kept making.

I joined Weight Watchers.

It is Day Two and things are going great, but I am battling bad habits. Bad habits of overeating and boredom snacking.

I am proud of these two days however I have a long way to go. 100 pounds long.

So, I will write out this journey- because writing heals and teaches me.

If you care to join me, you can find my future posts on this subject on my weight loss blog!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

skulls, snails and puppy dog tails

When my meds are off {which they currently are}, I have a hard time relaxing my brain to the point of sleep.

My Matty? He is snoozing the second his head hits the pillow.  'Twas the case last night as Matt was fast asleep on the couch. I was bored and sleepless so I began perusing Old Navy's online selection of clothes for our big boys, Mason and Jack.

This, friends, is what I kept running across:

Skulls. That Represent Death. On Boys Clothing. 


What is the appeal of putting a symbol of death on a piece of fabric a child is wearing?

I don't get it. 

And it's not just Old Navy. Look what I found on Target's site: 

Not getting this trend, and CERTAINLY not putting this trend on my boys! 

Are you as taken aback as I am about this symbol all over boy's fashion? Or could you care less?   What's your take on the matter?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

i promise there's a point. i think.

today i thought to myself {and said out loud to my husband} that my children were driving me to madness.

and when i get to the place where i am eager to sell them to the highest bidder, it's time for a break. 

we had to go over to the in-laws' house to shovel their driveway {they had been out of town and were coming home} and we thought it would be nice to put some groceries in their fridge so they didn't come home, late at night, to NOTHING.

so we did. and, as we were leaving all the kids wanted to ride with daddy {we had come in separate cars} and suddenly i had an empty car, little kids that were going home to nap, and a daddy available to go with them.

so i took full advantage and hit up the 'ol starbucks. then headed to kohl's to replace my sad and overly used jeans.

 i sipped and shopped and breathed deeeeppp breaths. i did not have to wrangle little people flailing all over the place. i did not need to plan a snack to keep them occupied. i did, however need to find some jeans, and find I did! $10, baby for a cute pair! i also managed to save more than i spent, which makes a girl feel gooood.

why do i wait so long to give myself a break? i am always amazed at how restored i am.

my cup was empty and then i filled it- twice: once with sweet, sweet alone time and once with sweet, sweet pumpkin spice latte. :)

Friday, November 4, 2011

just stopping in to say heeeyyy...

So, first off HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

I thought I loved Fridays before I had kids. But, NOW, as a stay at home mama I love Fridays even more because HELLOOOOOO....DADDY IS HOME!!! ALL WEEKEND!!! Oh, the joy!

I am sick today because of starting up a new medication. It wears off but until then, nausea city! The cure? Pretzels (the salllltt!) and Halloween candy.

I have picked up no less than 4 pairs of my Mattyboy's shoes off the ground today. What IS IT with men not picking up their shoes? Or their empty flavored water cans? If these are really my issues, I guess I have it pretty good.

I am participating in Nablopomo!! So you will be seeing my pretty {and not so pretty} words daily this month!!

So come back tomorrow! I will be here, pounding out my thoughts....this could get scary.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I love my baby boy.

Theo is quite likely the sweetest two year old you will ever meet. 
He was mellow in the womb, mellow as a baby and mellow now. He certainly has had a few tantrums and meltdowns but it's been NOTHING next to his brothers and their records. 

Theo and I are sidekicks. I am usually a) being asked to hold him OR b)  holding him, as evidenced in my last video.  He is a mama's boy through and through and would be content to lay in my arms all the day long. I am happy to oblige. 

At 2 years, almost 3 months, he is in love with books, milk, and well, me. I love to munch on his precious cheeks and you know what? His cheeks always taste like candy. Don't ask me how, the kid must just ooze sweetness. 
He has captured my heart and as crazy as it was to have two kids in 16 months, I am soooo glad we did!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


they are getting taller and bigger
and it's November, oh my goodness
which leads to Christmas and then a whole new year and birthdays and
in my head it's already spring, then summer

and I can't slow it down
and I can't catch my breath
because laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, preschool help days, schoolwork, and all the rest of it
doesn't rest.

and oftentimes, I feel like I don't either.
I wake up each day thinking, Did I really sleep?
And is it really another day?

I fight to pull myself out of darkness daily.
I do it more for my children than for myself lately.
Thank God for them.

And I need to get to the doctor, need to tell her the words I hate saying
We need to try something else
But that's another trip, more money, more time that I just don't have.

So I take another anxiety med, do another school assignment, change another diaper, kiss another face.
I feel alone in a sea of faces. I am comforted by the memory of 2 months I felt normal, felt good.
And I know I will be there again soon- just as soon as I find the time.
I will find the time.