Thursday, July 30, 2009

Long Explanation.

Life has gone from crazy to crazier. Every time I try to predict what's just around the corner, something changes. That will teach me.

We have run into a situation with my prenatal care provider. Up until 2 or 3 weeks ago he had approved me for attempting a VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I was told that if I went into labor, I could labor. I won't give too many details on the blog but there is lots of evidence showing that he was telling me I could have a VBAC, as much as he wants to deny it.

Suddenly, after an appointment with a different care provider, because mine was unavailable that week, everything changed. I should have known something was up by his reaction to me seeing a different care provider. He was not happy about it and checked his schedule twice to see why he wasn't available. I didn't understand his attitude but blew it off.

Now that other people in the practice are aware, suddenly I can't VBAC. The practice's policy states that they do not allow women to attempt a VBAC with two previous Cesareans without a prior vaginal birth. This is information that would have been useful to me at 20 weeks gestation when my desire to attempt a VBAC was first brought up. Suddenly, my doctor remembered their policy. He stated to me, "I was so concerned about your double closures(from my C-sections) that I didn't even think about our policy." That is unacceptable to me. I feel that I was lied to and mis led. I wish I could go into detail about all the parts that make this even worse, but I cannot.

I don't know why my doctor did what he did. My doula and Matt think he may have been trying to slip me under the radar because he believes I am capable of doing this. He may have thought we would not even make it to this point because of my past history of preeclampsia. (I didn't fully think I would not develop preeclampsia either- but WAHOO, I haven't!) He may have done all this lip service, thinking down the line, I would just cave to a C-section. I don't know what his reasons are but whatever it is, it is wrong.

His refusal to allow me to attempt a VBAC does not mean I will not attempt a VBAC. I know my rights and have spent much time lately(so has Matt) researching what exactly my rights mean for this fight.

He is not allowed to drop my care- unless he finds me a different care provider to transfer to or I leave his care. He is allowed to refuse to deliver me. I am allowed to refuse a C-section and I am allowed to let myself go into labor. The hospital is required to have a doctor to deliver me. This all makes for a very unfortunate situation which I am quite angry to have been placed in. I was upfront and honest about my desires for my birth and my intentions. I was lied to and now because I am so late in the game, they want to make me feel that I cannot have the birth I desire.

Luckily, I am not a pushover. I am thrilled that I was able to schedule an appointment for a high-risk, VERY pro VBAC doctor in Denver. He is a pretty busy, wanted doctor though so I was not able to get in until a few days past my due date. If I am not in labor at that point, I hope he chooses to take on my care. I am confident that I will achieve the birth I want, even without that doctor. If I go into labor before that appointment, I have great support behind me. What I am doing is well within my rights. If I don't go into labor and am able to switch to this doctor, it will be wonderful to be fully supported by an OB that sides with my beliefs.

Please know that if at any point my baby or my health becomes jeopardized, of course I will consider a C-section! I am not looking to hurt myself or my baby and the most important thing is that we are all healthy. There ARE risks with having a VBAC, there are also HUGE risks with having a THIRD C-section. I believe the risks of C-section far outweigh VBAC risks.

Baby Boy is doing awesome! We just had a biophysical profile done and fluid level, heart rate, breathing movements and fetal movement all look great! I will continue to submit to monitoring with the non-stress test until he chooses to arrive. If any danger signs arise, Matt and I will look at those and make decisions at that time. I also know that some doctors (especially my doctor) are big into scare tactics and I am not going to be bullied.

We definitely have an interesting couple weeks ahead of us, no matter which path this takes us on. I have to say that I am so INCREDIBLY blessed to have the full support of my husband. Not just that, but he has jumped in and researched, learned and educated himself to help me more. (If you want to know anything about VBAC's, talk to Matt- he is a wealth of knowledge.) He knows my birth desires and has done everything in his power to back me up and help me on this path- I am so grateful I don't have a pushover husband either.

Matt made a joke yesterday that I need to come into the hospital, wearing this shirt. I think it is an excellent idea!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

One Year Ago...

This was Baby Will.

And now.....

He is still so much my baby but so much my big guy too.

His new words this week:

-Graaammm-PA(his beloved Grandpa)
-Da-ne(Daphne, his big sister)
-chok-it(chocolate...he has been saying this one for a while)

Isn't it amazing how much love we hold for our children?