Wednesday, August 31, 2011

this post brought to you by country music

I was 19 with a  red apron tied on over my swollen belly. I was throwing dough in the air in a hot pizza kitchen. The music was blaring good 'ol Brad Paisley and my boss, himself a Brad, was checking pizzas in the oven.

I lived with the man that I thought I was supposed to. I wore long sleeves to work to hide the bruises on my arms, and my boss surely had to have known. I was so sad and scared but I tried my damnedest to hide it! I figured if I made my life sound pretty enough, then one day it would actually be that wonderful, and besides I couldn't bring a baby into this world alone.

He didn't hit me everyday. That was my excuse for him. I lived out that nightmare, day by day, wishing I could have a different life, and sometimes just wishing life could end.

I worked with my boss Monday through Friday from 8-4. Work was my reprieve. Brad was married with two small kids. Often his youngest would be in the back in the morning, watching movies. When he spoke of his wife or she came by to pick up their youngest, his eyes lit up. He was truly in love with his spouse and it showed- in every action he took and every word he spoke. It was the first time in my life I witnessed love that did not hurt. He was a good man and a wonderful husband and father in a time when I had lost hope that any existed.

I worked in the pizza kitchen for 2 years. In that time, I came to know Brad and his family well. I watched over and over as he showed respect to his wife, as he cheered his wife and his children on in everything they attempted. In the slow times at the restaurant, we would chat and I felt safe enough to tell him my own dreams for this life inside of me, for myself. He never judged me or spoke an unkind word. Day after day, he encouraged me.

The business was put up for sale. A new manager took over and it was my time to move on. So, I did. Over time, I gained enough strength to leave that man. While I still had to parent a child with him, I was not subjected to his violence and have done my very best to protect my child from such. I was doing the single mom thing. And then one day, along came this guy- this wonderful man who made my heart skip a beat and whose eyes lit up every time he saw me. He is a man who respects me, who listens to me, and  it's him and I against the world. We are a team, and we are oh so blessed.

This wonderful man is out of town this week and so I put on my country music {because he hates it}. Brad Paisley comes through the speakers and his lyrics pull me back to that time-the time where I had no hope that true love or good people existed until a truly good man showed me differently. I realized today, that my old boss gave me more than just a job, he gave me faith that I would be ok, that there was someone who would treat me how I deserved, that life really is beautiful.

That is better than all the paychecks in the world.


Dawn said...

Good one!

Nicole said...

Wow, thank you so much for sharing that. I am so glad you got out and found a man that truly treated you the way you deserve to be treated. I am so happy that you found your true love!!