Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Mornings...

Yep, the doctor visit I talked about last resulted in the little pills you see above. 

I had a ton of guilt about going back on my medications and ending nursing Theo. A TON. But then I thought about how many mornings I have had to scale a deep-dark hole, pull myself out of bed and take care of my kids, counting down the hours until I could crawl back into bed and I knew I made the right decision. Life is not supposed to be how it had become for me. I feel so blessed to have given him an entire YEAR of nursing! As much as I would LOVE to breast feed Theo well into the first year, I have to think about my mental and emotional health and how that affects my family. 

Theo was weaning himself anyway and was down to 1-2 nursings a day... I just upped the process a little. He still nurses to suckle as a comfort but is getting mere drops of milk. 
And Mr. Theo is honestly doing AWESOME. See??

Let's be honest though-the guilt is still there. Maybe guilt is just a part of the dna code of motherhood. 

The meds take 4 weeks to be fully in my system and are making me nauseous beyond belief- hopefully the nausea will subside as my body gets more used to things. 

But even if it doesn't, it's all worth it. For my babies. For my husband. But most of all, for me- to have my mental health where it should be and to truly enjoy this wonderful life of mine!

1 comment:

KiKi said...

I am proud of you!!! It takes a lot to make yourself important in your big family since you are the glue, but it IS important, and how you feel is just as important as any one else in your house. A happy Mom equals happy kids, so let that guilt down and pat yourself on the back!! Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same....I love you