This sucks...

I feel so down in the dumps. Just yucky...unmotivated...like I could sleep for two years straight.

My head feels so foggy...I can't seem to remember anything, therefore, my agenda book is FILLED with small little 'remember-this' notes everywhere!

I hate when I feel like this. Bi-polar at it's worst. I need to go to the store( we literally have 2 diapers, and a very empty fridge)yet it feels like going to the store is the same as running a marathon.

I started a bi-polar mood journal I had Matt print off and put together a year+ ago. I hope tracking my moods will be helpful to see the trends of my disease, as I swing up and down.

I just feel so crappy today that this has to be something I struggle with. I so desperately want to be happy, and productive and just NOT DEAL WITH THIS. I wish I could just smile and be positive and it all goes away...but that's not the case.

I DO smile and I DO try to be positive and I DO try to just work against it, but this is a chemical thing going on in my brain and it's so hard to fight that.

I hate writing yucky, negative, whiny, complaining posts but well, this is where I am at today and it's my blog meant to chronicle my life- and this is part of it.

So...it is what it is...going to attempt to put my head up and get through this day!(small attempt at positivity)

SO blessed.

Being a mother is to decide to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body. 

Don't mind if I do.

This handsome man and I:

will be attending one of these tonight:

ALONE, PEOPLE.

If you don't know how huge that is, you don't have 5 kids.

I am EXCITED!

Blog Break

HI! I took a little blog break for a bit but am now BACK!!(obviously.)

I have been busy,busy, busy chasing, rearing and teaching boundaries to my 2 year old, working through some things with my husband, keeping tabs on my now crawling and pulling up on things 8 month old, trying like everything to spend more time with my 6 year old, who often gets left in the dust and working like crazy on my relationship with my beautiful bonus children. 

It's hard stuff but a happy family is the best result, right?! RIGHT.

I thought I would jump right back in with a Not Me Monday. I will start and then, hop over and read Mckmama's and all the other Not-Me'ers(isthataword?). Hey, you can even WRITE ONE OF YOUR OWN!!!!



Sooooooooo.....this week, I most certainly did NOT wait until the last minute run to Walmart(which I loathe)20 minutes before start of Mason's school to buy the items he needed to make his hat for silly hat day. I am MUCH more prepared than that and would NEVER wait until I am almost out of time to get my child what he needs for school. Not me!

I would also never dream of using baby wipes to clean my toddler up before a family birthday party, as opposed to just giving him a bath. No, Not me! I am MUCH more responsible than that!

I would also NEVER go in to check on my toddler during naptime, find him like this:

and you know, just LEAVE him like that. Not Me! I put my two year old in his crib to get a nice, solid nap. I would NEVER leave him on the floor. Just like I would NEVER leave him like this.

(I totally just realized he is wearing the same pants in both pictures...maybe the pants are the reason for the crazy nap time shenanigans.) 

What have you NOT DONE this week?????

I Want To Be Locked Up!

I want to be locked up
Away from everything,
Free from all the craziness
Each and every day can bring.

No planning, shopping, cooking
Three healthy meals a day,
Served up with love to finicky kids
Who throw most of it away.

No constant interruptions,
Dirty laundry on the floor,
Driving everyone every place,
Sibling rivalry (It’s war!)

No one asking me to do things,
Getting mad if I forget,
Me giving up my very self—
I’m the family marionette.

Prison sometimes looks appealing
(Or maybe the looney bin),
I get free time and three square meals;
With nothing to do, I win!

I want to be locked up
For freedom, time and such,
There’s just one obstacle for me:
I love my kids too much!
By Joanna Fuchs