Thursday, June 10, 2010

On Being Nicole

I have been a mother for 6 years, but I still don't have it down pat. (Does any mother, really?)

Over these last six years, I have thought part of being a good mom was putting everyone else's needs before your own. Someone very near and dear to my heart, reminded me, just this week, that if my cup isn't full, how could I possibly fill my children's cup? If I am constantly taking care of everyone else's needs and leaving mine by the wayside, this leaves me angry and resentful. If I am not in a good mood, neither is anyone else. This does not for a happy house make.

There are days that I am utterly sick of poop, having grubby hands covered in remnants of food rubbed on the shirt I just changed for the 3rd time. I get tired of refereeing arguments or putting a smile on my face to say for the 40th time- "Please share your trucks with the baby, Will or "Our hands are not for hitting. Please use your words to tell me how you feel. : There are days when Matt comes home- I just want to run out the door, screaming backwards- "Your turn, Good luck!"

Please don't get me wrong. All of the above- every.single.bit.of.it is worth it! My boys are my breath. I would not trade them for anything.

However, I am learning that this mom needs to be more than mom. I have forgotten who I am in this world of diapers, breastfeeding, playdates and school functions. I have let that role define me and I believe that's dangerous.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am a woman, first and foremost. It is ok to leave this house and go be that woman-without the kids, without the husband, without a list of errands to run. Just.by.myself.

And when I do that, I come back refreshed, restored and cup fully filled to do this huge job I have been entrusted with.

2 comments:

Erin Woods said...

It's always great to get out and be yourself. I sometimes forget how refreshing it can be too. It's difficult to think about anything other than your children when that's what the majority of your days consist of. (And your kids are CUTE!!) I try to remember how quickly they are growing and this won't last forever. It's bittersweet. :)

nmassie218 said...

I am right there with you. Its hard to make time for yourself when your mom, that's what I struggle with.