Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Do you know what it's like?

Do you know what it's like to be sixteen years old and be told by your mom that she is sick?

Do you know what it's like to watch your incredibly strong mother get weaker and weaker as the days, weeks and months pass by and you cannot do a thing to stop it?

Do you know what it's like to wake up with your mother in the middle of the night and hold her hair back as she pukes because the chemo is making her nauseous?

Do you know what it's like to have a Hospice social worker come into your home and want to discuss what it will be like after your mother is no longer here, while she sits there and participates in the discussion?

Do you know what it's like to watch your mom fight the hardest battle of her life, for YOU and then watch her lose that battle?

Do you know what it's like to watch your best friend take their last breath?

I do.

Lately, the memories of that incredibly hard and beautiful year keep floating around in my head and forcing me to confront them.

So I am.

One day at a time.


Dawn said...

Beautiful, Nicole. I can't even imagine. You are a strong young woman, like your mom was.

Newlywed Next Door said...

Thanks for reading my blog!

The round white mirror is from West Elm. :)

The Shoup Family said...

I know. It's amazing how it hits you in waves sometimes, huh? It never goes away. I hope that this week has been better for you.

Anonymous said...

Yes what a diffcult fight your Mother had, and yes it does hit in waves.

We were blessed to have your Mother, my sister, Valerie Grace in our lives for her short 37 years.
Always, I wish for more.

She would be proud of the Woman and Mother you have become.

All my love, Aunt Angela xxooo.

Can't wait to see you, one week away!

Mot Juste said...

Yes I do. It fucking sucks.