rambling for 200, Alex.

I wish I knew how it all ends.

I have been known to skip to the end and read the last few pages. 

I remind myself often to live in the moment but my brain flits away to next week's preschool board meeting and all that must be accomplished before then. All the activities and lessons of life that will take place between now and then. 

The me of ten years ago looking in would be jealous. Anxious for all that I have been given. 

Here, inside it, it feels overwhelming. 

I feel pressure to be so many things to so many people. With a smile on my face. 

Yet I dream of adding more on my plate- and that dream exhilirates me.

There are two places in this world I am most comfortable: with my mother and with my Matty. One no longer exists and that makes me melancholy.   I am a vegan that occasionally becomes vegetarian. I am an agnostic. I am raising five children. I believe in soul mates and that I have found mine. I believe in being positive but I fail daily. I regularly make no sense at all. And I am ok with that.