Thursday, February 17, 2011

Life-10, Nicole-0

It's me vs. the world lately. Everything is falling apart. I try to breathe and I end up screaming. I am falling down this dark hole and I am powerless to stop it. I am overwhelmed- mentally, physically, emotionally. Every single time I think the worst has happened, something else hits.

I have missed so many classes, so many labs due to my kids being sick. I was getting my stuff ready for the day- made the boys oatmeal and a half mini bagel with peanut butter (they usually get cereal in a baggie on school mornings so I was doing well!).  I set Theo in his chair and he throws up all over. I pick him up and he also has diarrhea. I should have known it was coming- he was fevering on and off all yesterday and wanted nothing more than Mama to hold him. I just sighed- and of course bathed and loved my kid. 

So I have to miss my lab. Again. My lab partners want nothing to do with me, since I am the girl who never shows up. There are 3 other people in my lab group and they ignore my questions, sigh anytime I say anything and generally shun my presence. I am getting real life experience with how cruel people can be- you would think someone might wonder what's going on but no, it's sufficient enough to just judge me. I had planned to switch lab groups today but would you want me as a lab partner? I probably wouldn't either. 

And these are just the topics I can blog about. I wish I could just disappear. 


Kym said...

I love you, and I am sorry that life sucks right now. Email me and we can chat maybe? Or just know that you are loved and prayed for!

Nicole said...

I am so sorry things suck right now. Hang in there, keep your head up! Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts.

Anonymous said...

yicks, what a horrible day for you... don't worry my beautiful niece, after the dark clouds disappear, a bright rainbow is just around the corner! so chin up!! and look for the rainbow, as it is,just for now... behind a cloud. Know you are loved, by so many. Big hug and kisses. God bless you.

Dawn said...

Your lab partners should be spanked - they're probably children, eh??

Stacia said...

I'm so sorry, Nicole. Let me know if there is anything I can do...even just listen.